He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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