Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
