arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
