thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize