have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
