Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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