somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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