He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
