Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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