Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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