Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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