Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
