Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize