If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
