we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
