just come out here and I will go home with you...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The feeling are messing with the penis
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
