I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
