We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
