I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
