so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
