we're blogging at a bar
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize