just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
