think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
