I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
