Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
