sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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