I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
