I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
