so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
