dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
