My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
