I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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