I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
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