So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
