Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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