CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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