Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
