How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
