I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
