That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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