I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
