Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
handjob tips. give me some.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
