So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
