He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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