i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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