The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
