only if we run a train.
done.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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