It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
