i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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