i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
