break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
