I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
