Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Girls should come with a carfax report
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
