To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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