and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
