Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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