OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
