Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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