my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just had sex bonerless
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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