Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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