Christians are straight up FREAKS
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
