Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
