Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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