My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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