I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize