I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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