Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
