Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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