I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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