WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
This house was built for laser tag.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
