Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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