Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I met the friendliest cop last night
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
