I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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