Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
