i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
